September 28, 2011MOTORBOATZZZZBBBBBBBTTTTTHHHHH
Filed under Breasteses, Twins, Motorboat, Knockers, Tatas, Celebs, Cleavage, Boobs
MOTORBOATZZZZBBBBBBBTTTTTHHHHH 121 days ago
This doesn't classify as tech news, but its news worthy. Now I'm no boob expert, but I have seen one or two real ones in my day. The first time I walked into the wrong change room at a Walmart and she only had one boob. The bitch wouldn't even let me touch it or put it on my facebook. The second time wasn't really a second time, I totally made that up. Just like this line here, which serves no purpose whatsoever except to setup my fancy ascii art.

BOOBS ARE AWESOME ( x ) ( . ) Full Article

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September 28, 2011Google Gaydar
Filed under Google, Gay, Wtf
Google Gaydar 121 days ago
It seems that google knows everything these days, from my sexual preference towards reptiles to how heavy random things are.

Once I tried to measure how heavy my peen is, but I couldn't figure out how to lay it out on the scale. I do it the same way all guys do it at one point in their life -- coiled am I right?

Here's lookin' at you Jack. Full Article

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September 28, 2011Kindle now in color
Filed under Kindle, Amazon, Kill it with fire
Kindle now in color 121 days ago
Today Amazon announced the release of the new Kindle, now with color. The device features a 7" multi-touch display with a dual core processor, 8GB of internal storage and all the free books you can pirate. It's just over half the weight of the iPad.

Since you can watch videos on it, I can now happily use it for my disturbingly large porn collection and not risk destroying my iPad from excessive lubage. Full Article

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September 27, 2011Death of the DVD blamed on Netflix
Filed under News, Netflix, Opinion
Death of the DVD blamed on Netflix 122 days ago
So DVD & CD are heading the way of VHS? Tell that to my brand new bluray player who's job is to stand guard of my 2TB downloaded movie collection and look distracting for when the po'po' arrive. While you're there bluray player you can at least do something useful like dust off the ps3 or something. You're the most useless thing I ever stole bought from Walmart.

Apparently Netflix is being blamed on the reduced usage of the DVD format in response to its recent price hike on disc rentals. Full Article

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September 27, 2011Apple is worth more than the GDP of Denmark
Filed under Apple, Wtf, Steve jobs, I own the internet
Apple is worth more than the GDP of Denmark 122 days ago
Yes Apple churns out more crap for us to listen to Beyonce on than the entire GDP of Denmark -- which we all know is Viggo Mortensen. It is also greater than all the illegal drugs ever sold (hook me up Stevo!!), and more than all the gold in the NY Reserve. I'm not saying I need hand outs, but I could sure use a bar or two -- WHY WONT YOU ANSWER MY EMAILS STEVE!!! WE SHARE THE SAME TWO DADS!! Full Article

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September 27, 2011There's a conspiracy in your pants
Filed under It wont fit so dont try, Funny, Condoms
There's a conspiracy in your pants 122 days ago
Ever notice how all brand slogans sound like they would be perfect on a condom wrapper? This guy did, and his condoms all come in magnum size. Dodge Magnum size. I spent all of 30 seconds on it and this is what I came up with:
  • The quicker picker upper -- Bounty
  • You get what you pay for - DeWalt
  • A breath of fresh air - Air Canada
  • I can't believe I ate the whole thing - Alka-Seltzer
  • Reach out and touch someone - AT&T
  • Flick My Bic - Bic
  • Sheer Riding Pleasure - BMW
  • What's in your wallet? - Capital One
  • All Natural, No Caffeine - Celestial Seasonings
  • Grab Life by the Horns - Dodge
  • Diamonds are forever (nope bro, get a refund) - Debeers
  • It's the real thing - Coca Cola
Full Article

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September 27, 2011Mars Sunset
Filed under Space, Mars, Nasa
Mars Sunset 122 days ago
So seen here is the bluish sunset that you might see if you were standing on Mars right now. If you actually were standing there -- party at your house bro! I'm drinkin' all YO BEER! And not that crappy Lucky beer, I'm drinking your Pilsner bud (ha, get it? Bud?)

"NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit captured this stunning view as the Sun sank below the rim of Gusev crater on Mars" Full Article

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June 13, 2007LCD Keyboard
Filed under Gadgets, Gaming
LCD Keyboard 1,689 days ago
A company in Taipei just came out with the world's first wireless touchscreen keyboard. Though by the pictures it doesn't look like it's LCD, but rather some backlit piece of plastic. So you probably can't use it to change your layout, or watch porn. But it's a hell of a lot easier to use than my keyboard, which consists of a bunch of rocks lined up to look like a keyboard. When it doesn't respond you just throw the rocks at the computer after. It's really satisfying. Full Article

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